Selasa, 29 Juni 2010

sodamnthing

i woke up in the night and i noticed my boy was not by my side. every day i cry myself to sleep, thinking why does this happen to me, why does every moment have to be so hard and now, hard to believe that it is over. i am awake but my world is half asleep. try to figure out what i do to make it go bad. i pray for this heart to be unbroken cause every since he left me, my whole life came crashing and also without him, i am going to be incomplete. i will never give myself to another the way i gave it to him. remember when he said that he would change, never let me down, i can not be complete without him.

i asked him to say but he would not listen. he left before had the chance to say. the words that would mend, the things that were broken. but now it is far too late, he is gone away.

when he went and left me, i did not know how to follow. it is like a shock that spun me around. i hate what he do to me. he does not ever recognize the ways he hurts me, does he? now my heart is dead, i feel so empty. it hurt when i think, it is all over me.

dearest, why do you do this to me now? why could not you just see through me? you act like this, like you just do not care at all. i never supposed you hurt me this way. please, try to look at me and really see my heart.

tell me, are you and me still together for everlasting?
tell me, you think we could last forever?
do you expect me to believe that i am gonna let us fall apart?

you broke me like i never there for you, i will be stronger person although that is impossible, although that is hurt and although that is make sorrow in my soul. i must believe although i can not.
there is no more anniversary.
there is no more sweet short message service that come every night.
there is no more your voice in my ears.
there is no more laugh, smile and jokes that you given to me.
there is no more i love you that i save in my folder.
there is no more love.
and there is no more you.

all the pain i kept inside you, even though i might not show but you must know, you will be the reason for my pain. i am so sick of tears, love songs and i am so sick of you baby :'(

i am starting to learn more and more about responsibility. i realized everything i do is affecting the people around me. so i want to take this time out to apologize for things i have done. you will know there is a good if you trust the good. everything will be alright and it will get better through whatever.

last words, you always be in my heart, i love you so deep :)

Rabu, 16 Juni 2010

It's worse than ever

I adore you.... I love you.... But you can't do this to me.... It will make me desperate....



I was pleased because I have spoken honestly with you. Although you answered like above..... :( :( :( I don't know what must I feel. Happy? Sad? Dissapointed? Angry? Comfort? I'm really confused -___- I'm happy cause you said that you love me. Did you know I'm really happy? It is all I wish from you. I appreciated all you have done for me. But, what was wrong with all I did? Until you said I can't do this to you. What must I do? How long do I wait for you? My heart is not enough to keep all you did, all you said and all you felt :( You can't play my heart rudely and then, suddenly, you go away!!! You don't have to give such a damn like this to me! Watch myself please! Don't often look at yourself! Did you think my feeling? You have to feel to waiting so long but you don't get a sure! Will you do same like I do for you? I think you will not. If I'm angry, you never care. I'm always wrong and you're absolutely right. Why the fuckin' happened? I don't wanna lose you again but I'm tired. I'm sick with this condition. It's gonna make me crazy. Hopeless everytime. And just crying when I saw your tweet 'I take my time to get you.... I know you never understand' I thought I kill my heart slowly. Why do you say like that? If I never understand you, maybe I will have a relationship with other guy now. I'm still faith for you. I'm Faithful! I don't wanna throw this chance. I ignored you for twice and I wish it never happened for third. You're my whole heart and I hope it never change.........



I LOVE YOU SO HIGH
and I know, you do too.... :) I expect you reply what I have done just for you... :*

Jumat, 11 Juni 2010

prayer to my grandma :)

sekarang lagi masa-masa sulit banget kali ya buat keluarga gue. nenek gue dari nyokap yang ada di Surabaya sekarang lagi sakit, dan sakitnya gak tanggung-tanggung, kanker rahim :'''( kaget banget dengernya, secara selama ini yang gue tau dia tuh sehat-sehat aja seperti orang tua biasa, apalagi kalo gue maen ke Surabaya setiap lebaran. gak ada tuh tanda-tanda dia sakit separah itu. kalo sering cape atau jalannya lama kan wajar banget, dia udah tua gituuuu. cucunya aja udah ada yang nikah.
sekarang keadaannya makin memburuk. jadi sering pingsan dan parahnya dia gak mau makan!!! ah gila banget. kalo kaya gitu malah bikin tambah parah. katanya sih nenek gue itu mau ketemu sama nyokap gue dulu. maklum sih, nenek gue sama nyokap gue cuma bisa ketemu setahun sekali pas lebaran doang. imbasnya keadaan nyokap juga ikut-ikutan so bad juga. gak parah sampe gak mau makan sih tapi keliatannya sedih mulu gitu. gue kan jadi stres sendiri arrgggh -___-
nyokap selalu ngaji tiap waktu buat doain nenek gue, malah kadang sampe nangis. aduh gue yang ngeliat dan gak bisa ngelakuin apa-apa tuh rasanyaaaaa masya allah T_T sekarang sih gue coba buat ngaji tiap abis solat magrib dan ngedoain nenek gue tiap abis solat.
doa gue itu
Ya Allah berikanlah kesembuhan dan panjangkanlah umur nenek ku. berikanlah ketabahan dan kekuatan bagi bundaku dan keluarga kami. (Amin Yarobbal Alamin)

dan buat yang baca gue minta doa lo semua ya buat nenek gue tercinta semoga dia kuat ngejalanin semuanya dan diberikan umur yang lebih lama lagi, thank you :)

GUE BANGET! HAHA

Semuanya telah ku beri
Dengan kesungguhan hati untukmu
Hanya untukmu


Tak perlu kau tanya lagi
Siapa pemilik hati ini
Kau tahu pasti dirimu


Tolong lihat aku
Dan jawab pertanyaanku


Mau dibawa kemana hubungan kita
Jika kau terus menunda-nunda
Dan tak pernah menyatakan cinta


Mau dibawa kemana hubungan kita
Ku tak akan terus jalani
Tanpa ada ikatan pasti
Antara kau dan aku

apa judulnya? MAU DIBAWA KEMANA (COY)

Senin, 07 Juni 2010

my little family

ooohh akhirnya gue tau mau nulis apa. mungkin karena gue kangen atau emang mereka punya pelet sampe gue inget mereka terus-__- gue sekarang mau tell you all about my little family :)

who are they?


gue sebagai mamih dari anak-anak gue ini. jujur gue pertamanya nganggep cuma iseng tapi mereka emang bikin gue serasa jadi ibu beneran. bayangin aja mereka manggil gue mamih everytime everywhere dan mereka juga merlakuin gue kaya mamih beneran. seneng punya anak sedih gak punya suami. perlu diketahui, gue bikin keluarga ini disaat gue putus cinta :( well, mereka bikin gue senyum dan ngelupain segalanya :) jadi mereka lahir tanpa papih haha so who is want to be their father??? arrrrgh



Muhammad Faizhar Rizkisyah
hedeeeh ini nih jagoan gue haha. ini anak pertama gue . paling ganteng di keluarga nyet-nyet karena emang dia anak cowo satu-satunya dan emang gak ada papihnya *_* dia anaknya suka jayus tapi dengan umur yang masih 13 tahun dia terbilang very big diantara temen-temennya. walau begitu gue tetep sayang sama anak pertama dan laki satu-satunya ini.




ada yang tau cewe ini siapa??????? haha she is my first daughter or my second children. dia anak gue yang paling deket sama gue. curhat gue semua dia tau. anaknya asik baik lucu wah semua deh. she's my lovely nyimi :*




Nurul Al Fadillah
jeng jeng jeng dia anak ketiga gue. cantik yaaaa? iya dong liat aja mamihnya kaya gini :P dia anaknya cantik dan tegas. gue suka banget sifat dia tapi ada juga sih yang gak gue suka kaya dia tuh gampang kebawa emosi. yaaah however she's my favourite.



Ramadiani Ardika Syaputri
ini dia my last children. pas deh karena dia anak terakhir dia paling manja, paling ngeselin, paling banyak maunya, paling paling paling-___- tapi dia itu lucu dan ngangenin. gue paling takut kalo dia kenapa-kenapa abisnya anaknya susah diatur sihhhh @.@



nahhh itu dia keluarga kecil gue. menurut lo semua gimana?
ahaha walau gue jadi single parent tapi gue tetep seneng kok di keluarga nyet-nyet ini. eh iya satu yang harus kalian tau, kita semua anak paskibra loh!!!!!! jadi kita udah tambah kompak deh. tapi ada satu nih fakta ngeselin tentang keluarga ini-----------< gue sebagai mamih mereka tak punya pendamping dan mereka semua udah punya pacaaaaar!!! OH MY!
dan jahatnya lagi mereka gak ada yang nyariin gue pacar huhuhuhuhu emang kadang sifat durhakanya keluar (ngerasa gak sih ini posting kaya bukan mau deskripsi keluarga tapi mau promosi diri kalo lagi single =_=). tapiiii walo begitu I LOVE THEM SOOOO MUCH !!!!!!!

tetep jadi anak mamih yang brutal ye :p love you all nyet-nyet

Minggu, 06 Juni 2010

know me so deep

I just like what I do

second blog

Assalamualaikum :) hai hello selamat malam salam sejahtera ya bagi kalian semua. Oke perkenalkan nama gue Tiaradiqta Rizky Asharia Putri dan lo-lo semua bisa panggil gue Tiara. Ini blog kedua gue setelah blog yang lama lenyap karena lamaaaaaa sekali gak gue buka-buka dan tak tau lagi apa passwordnya. Soooo this is my represent of my life. my story. my world like its tittle. Well, enjoy it by yourself!

salam gadis berkuping kecil
tiaradiqta :)